I was with a friend the other day and we ran into someone we knew but hadn’t seen in awhile. This person looked at my friend and said, “Wow you’ve lost a lot of weight! You’re so beautiful!”.
I immediately wanted to slap this woman (I’m not normally a violent person). Yes, my friend had lost a lot of weight. She made that choice for herself and has worked hard on making healthy food choices and exercising daily. I applaud her hard work and am proud of her for what she’s chosen to do and following through on that choice.
However, my friend is no more beautiful now then she was before she lost weight. Losing weight didn’t change her beauty. She wasn’t an ugly duckling turned swan because of dropping a few pounds.
What could that person have said instead? Maybe, “Congrats on your hard work?” or “You look strong!” or “I like the changes you’ve made!” or “How do you feel since losing weight?” or “What made you want to make a change?” or simply “It’s great to see you, it’s been awhile!”.
Maybe I’m oversensitive but I do have concerns for my friend who’s lost weight if she now defines her beauty by how skinny she is. What if she decides to lose even more weight thinking then she’ll be even more beautiful thus possibly risking her health? What if for some reason she gains weight, will she see herself as no longer beautiful?
To me beauty is not defined by how you look. You could be the most beautiful person in the world on the outside but are unkind, greedy, selfish, vain, rude on the inside thus making you the ugliest person in the world in my opinion. Beauty is who you are, how you treat people, the things you do, not what you look like.
Be kind to people, smile at strangers, help someone in need, be patient with the elderly and little children, forgive those who have hurt you, don’t hold onto anger, be grateful for all that you have, don’t be envious or jealous of someone else’s good fortune. These are the things that make me want to say, “Wow you’re beautiful!”.
What’s your definition of beauty? What makes you say, “Wow you’re beautiful!”? What do you do that makes others say to you, “Wow, you’re beautiful!”?
Looking forward to reading your comments and don’t forget to remind yourself or someone you love to be Pretty, Plus and Proud!