There are all kinds of people who make this world go around. There are people who can be kind, helpful, dependable, generous and positive influences in their relationships with friends, family or even strangers on the street. They are the kind of people you enjoy being around. They are the kind of people you want to have as friends. You know they have your back and will be there when you need them. Likewise, you’ll feel more apt to be there for them in a crisis. You bask in their joy and positivity.
Then there are the people who are users, abusers, selfish, self-centred, undependable, untrustworthy and negative. They suck the life out of you every time you are in their presence. They take and take without giving anything in return. They are constantly seeking reassurance and help for problems that never get solved or go away. Life for them is a constant set of bad circumstances from which they are always seeking your help to get out of. They exude negativity and are not people you want to spend a lot of time with.
Where do you fall? Sometimes it’s not so black and white. Probably many of us fall somewhere in between. While we seek to be positive people, sometimes life gets you down and you sink. The key though is not to stay there. We can’t be happy all the time but we can certainly try. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the victim trap all the time. If you have problems, don’t just complain about them. Do something to solve them. Seek professional help if you must but don’t just tread in negativity. That’s the difference between someone who’s a constant user and someone who is a giver. Users take but don’t do anything with what they are given. Givers take, solve the issue, reciprocate when needed and go on living life.
If you have chronic or debilitating illnesses, being a taker is an easy role to fall into, sometimes without even meaning to. Depression, anxiety and a multitude of diseases can sink you into a hole that can be very difficult to find a way out of. It’s difficult but not impossible. Sometimes, if we can take on the job of spreading positivity by helping, we can begin to see a light at the end of our tunnel. Focus on someone else’s needs for a minute. Helping others can make us feel better about ourselves and may be the key to healing our user mentality.
What will you do today to impact someone’s life in a positive way? Will you help a neighbour shovel snow, bring some groceries to a housebound friend, volunteer at a food bank, help out in your child’s classroom, offer to take grandma to church or bring treats to the nursing home? Will you smile at a stranger at the bus stop, compliment the woman standing at cash on her hairdo or pay for someone’s coffee in the drive through behind you? We all have problems and it’s fine to share them and seek advice but don’t let it become the only thing you do in your relationships. People need some give and some take, a balance between the two. Try to Be Pretty, Plus and Proud and a positive light in your relationships.