Do your feelings get hurt easily? Do you not take criticism well? Do you always interpret comments as a bad reflection of who you are?
I would probably answer yes to these questions. I have to admit my emotions lay pretty close to the surface. I cry easy. I anger easily, I am easily influenced by other people’s moods and comments. I am a people pleaser, sometimes putting my own beliefs and values aside just to be agreeable and accepted. My feelings are hurt easily and I often let things simmer and boil over rather than facing things head on when they occur and get it over with.
Through my blog writing, meeting strong women who know themselves well and make no apologies for who they are, and communicating with women through other social media platforms with similar journeys as my own, I am learning to be stronger and not fear being who I am. I think I will always be an emotional person but what I am working on is controlling how I react to difficult and upsetting occasions. I have to realize that I can’t control what other people say or do that might bother me but what I can control is how I react and respond.
Below are some steps I’m trying to take in not taking things so personally:
- I have to realize that when people are rude, it’s not about me or what I have done. Their bad manners is a reflection of them and their issues.
- I try to ask myself what else a comment or behaviour might mean. Maybe the other person isn’t being rude. Maybe they are shy or uncomfortable socially.
- I am trying to take comments or criticism in a constructive way. What can I learn from it? Is there any truth to what the person is saying?
- Look at situations from a different perspective. How would someone outside the situation view things? Looking at things from someone else’s point of view may be what you need to calm yourself and react differently than normally.
- I have to realize that I will never be able to please everyone nor do I have to feel guilty if someone doesn’t agree or isn’t happy with my decisions and actions.
- I have to believe that I am not defined by my mistakes or criticisms made by others. Someone I know often says, “You are entitled to your opinions as wrong as they may be”, lol. Everyone has something to say, doesn’t mean that’s who I am, have to agree or be hurt by what they say or think. Again, I control my reactions.
- My self-worth depends on me. It does not depend on what others say or think about me.
Together let’s take these steps to be confident and more emotionally stable people. We can be Pretty, Plus and Proud, knowing other people’s opinions do not matter. It’s what we think of ourselves that is most important.